THE UNSALTED

Being healthy is hot and happening. But the right kind of food isn’t the only aspect of this “new” lifestyle. Being strong and fit is applauded and encouraged by a lot of people, and I can only agree. To help get you girls in shape, there’s the magnificent Kayla Itsines. This amazingly fit girl (I’m pretty sure she’s able to crush my head with her thighs) created a “Bikini body guide – Workouts” and “Bikini body guide – H.E.L.P Nutrition Guide”, which (if followed correctly) should get you in perfect shape in about 12 weeks. There’s also a followup guide, but let’s not go overboard, folks. Her book isn’t just meant for people who want to lose weight, it also applies to people who simply want to look fit as fuck. It’s all about them abs.

Kayla regularly posts pictures of people who actually did (and survived) her 12-week workouts, and the results are stunning. Did my research though, and most people who tried the bikini body challenge are very pleased with the results, despite the fact that some of them didn’t get as toned as they initially thought they would. Some look ridiciously ripped, others look pretty much the same as when they started (maybe a bit slimmer), just stronger and more muscular.

So after a while I thought: Why not try it? I mean, for real. I felt pretty damn confident when I examined her entire schedule. Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday has been set up with a specific set of exercises over the course of 12 weeks. Each session takes about half an hour, in which you’ll have to complete two different sets two times. You get 7 minutes per set, and each set is made out of 4 different exercises (for example burpees, squats, ..). In between those you’re allowed a 90 second recovery period. Sounds easy, right?

Wrong. I’ll have you know that I only thought about quitting 87 times during my half-hour workout. Now, to be fair: I have no stamina whatsoever. The biggest exercise I get is.. hmm.. well, getting myself out of bed in the morning. Or noon. Sure, I have a membership at a gym, and yes: I do try to go at least twice a week. But there’s no one watching me there, and I’m already proud of myself if I manage to do 10 crunches (great workout today!). You’ll never catch me red-faced and sweaty, which might indicate I’m not putting in enough effort. Okay fine, I’m totally slacking. There’s no point in denying that. I swear I’ll work harder next time.

So, evidently, trying out Kayla felt like a never ending horror story. I only realized why the challenge frequently gets called #deathbyKayla on Instagram after actually doing it. Pretty obvious red flag though, how the hell did I manage to miss thàt one. I’d like to refer to Kayla’s program as.. Seven minutes in hell. Four times repeated. 

That being said: I’m a whiny weakling. It’s true. If others can do this, so can I. And so can you.  Week one has begun, and I have to stick with this damn program ’til the end. No pain, no gain, right? And I’d love to find out if I’ll also transform as awesomely as some of the other girls featured on her page. I’d feel incredibly proud (and surprised. Mostly surprised. This thing actually works? Exercise.. good? Not bad? Who knew), and you know what: that’s reason enough to stick to it. I only have to die 35 more times before I look like a bikini bod babe. Seems legit.

Photos 1-2: Kayla herself Photos 3-6: natsbbg (1-24 weeks) – beegetsfit (duration unknown) – aldinahodzz (1-?) – melaverde91 (1-7 weeks)

https://www.kaylaitsines.com.au // https://instagram.com/kayla_itsines/