THE UNSALTED

A few weeks ago I decided to put my (already dust covered) Vivabox voucher to good use and choose one of the wellness activities offered. Accompanied by the generous giver, of course. Scrolling though an endless list of facilities, we decided location was key: it had to be in a town or city we hadn’t been before. Scratching Ghent and Brussels of the list, we browsed the leftover cities like hawks. Finally, we lingered on “Yolande Buekers – Health Resort and Wellness centre“. The photos showed a magnificent garden, plenty of utilities, a lovely scenery, and we would be able to stay there a full day, whilst receiving a glass of bubbly and some much needed peace and quiet. Eager to go, we scheduled our day on a Thursday and booked their hotel as well, thinking we’d might as well stay the night and explore the surroundings the next day. Ready, set, go.

It was only the day before we realised we made a horrible mistake location wise. The bus stop that was shown on Google maps turned out to be an irregular one, only in use during school weeks and rare hours. We were quite optimistic though, so we bravely decided to stick to our decision. After an hour and half by train to St-Truiden, we had exactly 2 minutes to catch another bus to Tongeren: 20 minutes to go, exit Gotem (tudududu Batmaaaaan). Seems ok. Until you get out at Gotem and realize this is the absolute middle of nowhere and you still have to walk approximately an hour to get to the spa. On one of the hottest summer days in Belgium. Dressed in black. Packed with a gigantic bag. Fuck.

When we finally arrived, I immediately noticed the spiritual vibe. It’s not particularly my thing, but I can understand others might find it interesting. Personally, I’m just not into the whole “spiritual healing”-aspect, but luckily for us those particular treatments were on the other side of the building. At the front desk I was asked to check in and show my Vivabox voucher. When I simply grabbed the whole box out of my bag instead of the voucher itself, the employee began laughing weirdly at the fact I had brought the whole thing. It was very awkward, to say the least, and it made me feel very uncomfortable. Surely it wasn’t thàt strange to bring the box, especially if you were in a time crunch? I tried to brush it off, but when I glanced over to my friend I could see she was equally weirded out. Good, so it wasn’t just me then. Moving on, I also informed him we’d be staying the night at their hotel. He seemed very confused by this, and looked at me as if I was speaking parseltongue when I pronounced my name. I had to pronounce it slowly multiple times, because apparently this was the hardest name he had ever encountered. Sweet jesus, lad, it’s just DUMON. Not that hard. Confused, he said there wasn’t any reservation by that name. Polite, but starting to lose my patience after his weird behavior, I ensured him that wasn’t possible considering the fact I had received a confirmation by email, as well as a telephone call (BY HIM, AHMAGAD MAN) a few days before. Puzzled, he finally realized the reservation was lying right. in. front. of. him. He gave us the key and we gratefully resided to our room to get ready.

When we got changed into our bikinis and bathing robes we had to pass by the office to get some additional information about the “Aqua Palace” Wellness. A small map was given so that we could easily spot the location of every different sauna or Jacuzzi, and we were told we could grab a glass of iced tea that was standing on the salon. Would’ve been a nice offer, if the glasses hadn’t been standing there for a full day already, with the ice obviously melted and the substance looking very opposite of attractive. My friend curiously asked when we’d receive our complimentary glass of bubbles, and she was given a worn-out coupon for one glass of champagne at the restaurant, which immediately destroyed the initial glamour of drinking a glass while getting pampered. It might seem snob to some of you that those details bother me, but when I go to a spa or hotel I strongly believe in the little things: handing me a drink upon arrival instead of just pointing at an already expired drink at the table can make all the difference in your experience. Employees should be trained to make you feel relax and welcome, instead of laughing inappropriately and lacking the basic knowledge to check someone in and have a normal conversation. I’m there to get pampered. Service is key. It’s those little efforts that make or break your stay, and to me: Yolande Buekers failed to accomplish a pleasant and relaxing treatment throughout the entire stay.

The wellness itself was ok. There were plenty of different facilities and enough room to walk around freely. It’s a public wellness, so I can imagine it might be less comfortable on busy days, but that’s what you get when you choose to go public so you’ve got no right to whine about it. The utilities are a bit outdated and could use some renovation works, but then again: if it works, I’m content. So no complaints there. We checked out every sauna, steambath and jacuzzi, and fully enjoyed our stay.

We ate in the provided restaurant, and again, service was lacking. We sat outside for about 20-25 minutes, waiting to get a menu, but despite popping out every once and a while, the employee never noticed us. Which is quite the accomplishment considering the fact there were only 3 tables occupied. When I went in to politely ask the menu, he refused to give me one and told me “If we’d choose a table outside he’d come over immediately”. Yeah, we’ve noticed. (That evening we had the same problem, but luckily we were too zen to be bothered. Everything just went very slow. Especially the conversation with the waiter. I felt like I had to talk very clearly and slowly to get my message across.) The food itself was okay. It’s obviously a pre-prepped cuisine, but the portions are more than sufficient and they do try to present it tastefully. Despite eating there 3 times (lunch, dinner and breakfast) while the restaurant was nearly empty, the man simply couldn’t remember my name, room or orders. It became almost hilarious because it was so absurd. I’ve worked in the catering industry for quite a while, so I didn’t have exaggerated expectations and I always treat the personnel kindly because I know how difficult and unrewarding the work can be. But the inability to remember even the simplest order made us both giggle. I’m sorry. I just. I can’t.

Alright, time to talk about the final aspect of our stay: the GoWell hotel. The room had a terras overlooking the gardens, which was nice. But despite being advertised as a renovated 4-star hotel, they sadly lack in one of the most basic requirements: airconditioning. Seriously. They’d put a tiny fan on the table, barely moving any air, andit just looked so useless I can’t even understand why they even bothered. We had to open up the entire window at night (with the curtains closed, hoping we’d keep out mosquitos and bugs) to get some ‘fresh’ air and strategically placed the fan in front of the bed to create a circulation. We managed, but I can imagine other people will be gravely annoyed during a summer stay. There’s no mini bar or water provided. When we went down to de desk to ask some water, they seemed to find this a very peculiar request, and even charged us for it. To me, that’s absurd, even though I don’t mind paying.

At check-out the next day we noticed the amount required to pay was significantly high and quickly spotted they’d charged us for the room again (Which was 90,- € for one room (2 p.) by the way, a bit pricy to be honest). At first the employee (the same one who’d greeted us so awkwardly) wasn’t keen to believe he charged too much, until I literally pointed at the receipt and explained I had already payed for our room 5 days after booking. Which is a requirement. By them. Or your room doesn’t get booked. Let me repeat this slowly: You. Are. Required. To. Pay. For. Your. Room. Within. 5. Days. After. Booking. Or. Your. Reservation. Gets. Cancelled. I literally don’t even understand how you’re able to accidentally charge us again if that’s your policy, but hey: it was entertaining. We laughed the whole way back because some of the expierences with the staff just seemed so surreal. Oh, before I forget: even though the wellness is not easily accessible by public transport, the surroundings are beautiful. We had to stroll through fruit fields and picturesque nature, and the walk itself was actually lovely.

Summary:

Wellness (Aqua Palace): 6,5/10
Restaurant: 6/10
Hotel: 4/10
Service: 5/10
– Overall: 5,5/10, wouldn’t recommend, wish I could. My companion however: 10/10, giiiirl!